woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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