whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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