I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
