genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
