im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
