My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
The air was thick with penises
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize