hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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