I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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