the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
