I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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