Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
