Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
