i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Randomize