so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
