Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
