It's Friday. Sex?
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
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