can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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