I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
