Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Too much gin, very little bucket
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
