It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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