i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
