i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
