super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
