he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
