I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
