i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
