is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
