ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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