I'm gonna have a badass scar
he thought i was a dude.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Randomize
