he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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