I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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