At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
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