I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
