I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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