me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
