do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Houston, we have a blender
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
