Already got asked if we're dating
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I just threw up on my dentist
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Randomize
