i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize
