rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
