His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
