I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
