I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
