This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
