I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
the liver wants what the liver wants
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
