Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
