Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
That was before I lit my hair on fire
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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