This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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