this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I am available for nakedness
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