hotel room ftw
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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