This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
