If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize