no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
