Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
