You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
