Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Everclear isn't food dammit
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
