But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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