You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I would fuck him just for his dog
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
