plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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