He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
