Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
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