You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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