had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Randomize
