it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
