I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
