Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
