He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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