I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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